Silently lonely night

In such a quiet and lonlely night in this city, as usual I sat on the chiar thinking of the coming days. Is it symbolizing the refusing of work or just another nihility emotion?
What is the element I lack of? As the days passing, the meaningless root grew deeper and deeper. I must do something, must start to move forward. For many reasons I believed I've been fooling around for a period of time. Time to move on. To move forwad. Not a need but a must. A must.

Thou will not have it

No matter how you said
the truth I held
the faith I kept
everything
will not change
People used to judge others
before themselves
To live in a lie
to live free
I have my own path to carry on
Sorry to slow you guys down