Gossip gossip during the first spring in 2008

So many things changed dramatically these days, which included both physical and mental parts. Different from the past, I tried to be harshly disciplined one. Doubting everything I might face, friends, co-workers, bosses, and even myself. What is it that I'm seeking for? So hard. Looking at my limited abilities, I can't even imagine more.
So many unbalanced things came these days, which showed me how corrupt the environment is again. Hard work? Excellent ability? What for? What's the purpose of your actions? A better life in the future? I don't understand.

Now I can barely understand why I seek for my golden age in SA. Too many limitations has made too many gloomy souls. Understanding what I has lost has tortured me a lot. Moreover, seeking for the lost pieces has done even.

But, what if. What if?
What if the binding chains are gone, will I?
Will I? Will I?